For those that hate to read, the good news is that Robin is pregnant, around 17-18 weeks and after yesterday’s sonogram we are happy to announce a boy is on the way.  Our new one should join us late July.

Best Laid Plans

6, maybe 7 years ago I laid out a plan to my wife.  To hold off having children about 5 years.  Because of course by then we can handle children and figure out the rest because life will be so grand then.  Well life never takes the course you plot.  You can occasionally steer a few degrees but for the most part you are swept up in circumstance.

Our life was no exception but youth makes you quite naive.

Trials by Fire and Loss

I’ve been wanting to tell our story for a while but with all painful or trying events you need time before you can reflect properly.

Over the past year and then some we had the harsh reality that life is much more precious and messy than we ever expected.  I like to tell others that we, we meaning boys, are raised with the notion that if you look at a female wrong—she’ll get pregnant.  That’s just not the case. The Doctors will tell you that if it were that easy we’d all be set with just a couple of sperm and eggs and continue humanity rather easily. Not! Then once you conceive that’s just the first of your uphill climbs, there’s a 1:3 chance that a woman will miscarry—another thing you are never taught so when it happens to you it’s absolutely soul crushing.

If you’re lucky you won’t roll those dice until your second or third child, at least then you have a consolation prize as our Dr. put it.  Robin and I had the misfortune to experience this a few times early on.  Robin is amazingly strong and I am there for whatever her needs may be.  I’d like to say ‘We were strong’, but the strength really lay with her.  I am but a bystander, a woman goes through so much I can barely comprehend.

In the end we probably became a little too clinical for our own good but it’s hard not to.  It’s like in a scary movie when you know something bad is about to happen so you prepare yourself.  We began to steel ourselves to what might occur. To any of those out there that are going through this or even more difficult procedures we send you our hope.  We know we’re getting off easy comparatively and we respect anyone trying to have a family of their own.

Perseverance and Time

Today marks a new chapter for us and one we are excited to share.  Robin has had me under NDA for so long, I am a social creature after all and it’s been tough to bite my tongue. I like to show my joy. Especially for this!

We are happy that our early hurdles are behind us and from what we could tell we’re hoping for a safe and sound journey for the rest of Robin’s term.

The only thing I regret is my decision to make Robin wait for a family.  If I had any foresight into how long it would take just to get us to this point I would have been happy to start sooner than later.  I encourage those other plan makers I know out there to take note that your plans will not go accordingly, so be kinder and more flexible with your goals and each other.

We are gracious, humbled, and deeply happy.  We look forward to what is to come!

Jump 179, Headdown Sitfly Fun from Andy Ciordia on Vimeo.

Having a fun time with Jarrod Orrel. Our goal was a nice headdown exit, try to stay headdown, and then transition when we lose it. Well it was all pretty sloppy but we had a helluva lot of fun with it.

The last year has been like climbing a mountain.  Hard grueling work, long hours, and a helluva lot of effort but it’s all paying off.  I have a roster of happy clients, the family is making fantastic headways in chocolate with a shop on the horizon, and a rather happy life with my loved ones.  The pace will quicken even further this coming year and while I don’t know what to expect, I suspect it will be amazing.

Then one day they try it and your genetics show through. Patchwork to needles, lay flat or go bushman, only the code knows. While I had a brush with some extended chops and a jowel line a few times in the past 20 years I can’t recall ever just seeing who I was with a beard.

This year in the Carolina’s it’s been much colder than usual and my skin hates dry cold—and being a skydiver hey, let’s face it (heh), some added protection on the way down sounded like a good call. Well that’s the way I’m going to remember it.

As with anything new it created more growth than that on my face. You learn something about how you see yourself, how others see you, and by the way—you can stroke it. New sensory too.

Times are quickly changing. Maybe this has been a bridge for me. As I soon pair back what I let grow I will be left with a memory of visages of who I can be, pondering the different embodiments that I can take.

It’s a time of year when families draw near and if yours goes beyond the grabbing, ripping, digesting of the season you might get a tale or two from your peers and elders. If not this is for you to work on that.

Is Your Family History Fading?

Here in America I feel we are so quick to move forward we never take a moment to look back. We may know the big picture but do we know the tapestry threads that binds it all together? You may know how your great grandparents made it to this country but what of the shared memory of their lives, and their parents lives, and that of their countries. To many of us it may already be too late to recover much of this.

Remember Storytelling

While we may have lost some of our oral tradition it’s never too late to start telling tales of what you do know and what your parents may have known. The point is to talk, to spin a tale, to encourage a connection to your lineage. Beyond giving the storyteller a moment to enjoy their own past they can hook a younger generation into the tale and give them something to think on as they mature.

Through the Senses

How many of us have family dishes that have been passed down over the years. We can divine a lot of culture from food. The missing ingredient a lot of the time is how the dish came to be. Whose great-great grandmother cooked this and the family so loved they kept it. Or what meager meal got a family through tough times and thus became a cornerstone of the families recipes throughout the years. Many times we are able to enjoy these meals without their connected meaning but how much richer would we be to know it and to pass that knowledge along.

Next time you’re at a family meal and there is something from the past on the table ask about it, inquire to it’s history and meaning to the family.

It’s All About Context

In my own eyes I have a not too distant connection to relatives that extend from America, to Puerto Rico, to Spain, but I know so little beyond the gestalt. Some of my families stories were written down but they stop only a few generations ago. The greater context of our family and our culture is a mystery to me.

If you have a family dish to an heirloom that is being passed on make sure you tell the context that goes with it. Who made it, how many hands has it passed through, do you know their stories? While you may know the context your children do not.

Dying Libraries

Over the last five years I have heard in many different forms how our elders are passing on but their knowledge is not. For every elder that passes we lose a library. Think of your own wealth of knowledge that is in your head and ponder how much you share of it. When you are gone  how much goes with you and how much will be here for others to share and pass along?

Take a moment and look for the precious moments that you don’t want to lose and begin putting pen to paper or telling stories at your next gathering. Think about the stories you were told growing up and do your children know them?

Our lives are very brief in the way the universe works and it’s a shame how much experience and hard earned wisdom is lost from generation to generation. It’s one reason I started blogging so many years ago. I wanted to make a record of moments, of a person, of a family, that can be shared and looked through to understand who I was and what I was a part of.

I write this because I lost both of my grandparents in 2008 and when I reflect upon their photo albums, letters, and memorabilia I realize I only knew a fraction of what I would have loved to know.  Now it is lost within fragments of my parents and extended family but the easiest connection to it is gone forever.

New Holiday Meaning

So this holiday season, this new year, take it upon yourself to rekindle your families stories and culture. Let it be alive once again and writ or told to others so that it maybe kept alive and fresh. Revel in who you all are, where you came from, and the connection from here to there.

Watching the Water

My father taught me to know a good sailor was to look at his his wake. A clean straight wake leaving the boat was a sign of someone who knew the water and the way to navigate it. To see a wake that zagged around was interpreted as floundering, slipping along.

The metaphor may be a bit mixed, it’s washing through a child’s remembrance, but I wish my wake were straighter.

With Kind Thanks

With 2008 closing I must give thanks to those who stayed close. Who were rocks instead of runners. During tough times the way people work to support one another shows colors that are hard to forget.

Alpha and Omega, I cannot thank my wife Robin enough. She is both inspiration, support, the embodiment of patience and shares my burdens with little complaint.

Love is the best adhesive.
— Flight of the Concords

Thanks to my family who took my challenges in stride and gave providence during my struggles. To my in-laws for whom good fortune rains with a sweet chocolate future.

To my friends, who many while down on their own luck only look for the smile of others. Self sacrifice and bleeding hearts I know well.

The farmers and their families, connecting with you regionally has been a deepening and gratifying experience. Knowing your land, your animals, and the micro/macro environment around it all to bring us a harvest plenty (and safe) is no easy task. Thank you for feeding us well.

Social networking kudos too. I’ve expanded my network of people I know locally by an exponent. The reward is compounding. Not only do I know more people in my area, they are as diverse as I am. Skydivers, foodies, marketing, PR, designers, comedians, small businesses and more. To connect everyone on a regular basis is instant community. I hope to continue to meet many more people that can be part of and share the experience that each of us create.

Healthy Growth through Improving

Of many things I saw in 2008 it was our ability to not finish the sentence that took the award for most needed improvement. There are so many who will pick up the mantle of responsibility only to never hit the finish line.

It’s Easy to Start,
It’s Hard to Finish.
—Jason Calacanis

I’ve had the discussion lately that I’m really curious what the statistical ratio is since I find the reliable in very very short supply. With an administration where accountability was unknown I hope the new year brings transparency and a sense of integrity again.

My Participation

• Nuance Labs shifted resources to consulting.

With the depletion of capital we’ve had to put our ideas in stasis and work more mechanically. It’s been fun bringing new small businesses into the net and seeing them plug in.

• IMI Photography strives for a piece of the market.

Photography in the Queen City is pretty hard to come by for those new to the market. We have over 6k photographers and some seriously talented and firmly implanted people. With a hung and dried economy, new resources are highly contended. I love the form and am applying my skills more to Nuance Labs imaging & The Secret Chocolatier projects. I’m still available and seeking new bookings for 09.

• The Secret Chocolatier brings many smiles to the community.

With a family idea and some organic planned thoughts we planted a chocolate garden and fed it with love and care. It has sprouted quite well. As a sapling of a company it’s filled with a lot of excitement and hope for establishing deeper roots in the community in 2009. Homemade chocolate for all!

2009, You are Welcomed

With the trials and tribulations from local and national economies, wars and unrest, new starts and learned from failures, I am ready for 2009. Again I cannot express my unending thanks to those who support myself or those I am connected with enough. May we all find successes in 2009.

-andy

I think I’m finally fully out of my meat-choco-coma. It took a few days and a lot of chocolate bacon flashbacks, but I think I’m well on the mend. Mine and others in our area were struck with this fantastic affliction last Sunday when Lell Trogdon opened her doors for a friends fundraiser like no other.

Lell in conjunction with Serena, the Grateful Growers wonderful products, the Secret Chocolatier, and a cast of friends and family helped us reach far towards our Terra Madre goal!

Some Snapshots

If you are having trouble viewing what is below check out some of the pictures on flickr.
[swfobj src=wp-content/files/Flash/Fundraiser/Lell_Fundraiser.swf /]

A Day of the Porcinus

It cannot be understated what great pork raisers Grateful Growers are. It can also not be understated what Lell Trogdon can do with such fine materials. Pork shoulder, butt, ham, bacon, bratwurst and more were soaked, slathered, slow cooked, grilled, to perfection. Thunder Cats.. Hooo… oh wait. I digress.

In addition there was scones, cream sausage gravy, eggs with sausage and eggs with green chilis, with cheese grits for breakfast. Lunch onward was served the bulk of the meats and a few vegetables and a vegetarian lasagna made an appearance, but it was mostly about pork.

A meat induced coma was seen drifting in peoples eyes all day. It was awesome.

Dirty Little Secret

The Secret Chocolatier brought his upcoming arsenal of chocolate might out for a tour. Bill Dietz is my chocolate superman, he shares that title by many adoring fans in our area. We’re working hard to grow that fan base (join today!) and to that extent are opening up his culinary war chest to bring out some great eats.

The vast chocolate landscape included an almond encrusted triangular chocolate pate with accompanying caramel sauce, a chocolate mousse, a chocolate torte, chocolate chunk brownies dipped in dark chocolate coating, a chocolate fudge cake with chocolate icing, a chocolate fudge cake with cream cheese icing, and a carrot cake with cream cheese icing. Phew.. if the thought of that at your party doesn’t make you quiver, you don’t love a great dessert.

If the meat didn’t do it, The Secret Chocolatier did. Some looked frantically around for a place to nap. An outdoor sofa awaited many.

Pandora Traffle

Did I mention that The Secret Chocolatier donated a Pandora truffle for raffle? Weighing in at 16 oz it is something to behold, and hopefully to be shared by many. It was contended for, fought over, people schemed, but in the end the wonderful Denise Kuntz was given a phone call that she had won the prize (to the devastation of the still hanging crowd). Luckily Denise is sweet and said she would share!

All For Who? What?

All because Robin and I really want to be a part of a great experience with more great people in an effort to grow, capture, and bring back some of the inspiration of Slow Food’s Terra Madre. We’ve been fundraising for a few weeks and have had a great outpouring from family, friends, and even local farmers who share our passion, or want us to bring them back some of the experience.

Quick Terra Madre Primer, bi-ennial event in Turin, Italy:
What do you get when you build a conference around sharing culture, tradition, survival, and growth of the worlds food system.
5000 farmers, 1000 chefs, 2000 students and volunteers to collectively communicate.

We Help Each Other

I’ve taken to heart over the past few years that friends help each other. It’s been a rocky time for everyone I’ve known, across industries, across regions, but we share out support be it with kind words, time, opportunities, and out of pocket. Our friends are pivotal in our growth and we are so very blessed in having good ones.

Thanks to everyone who made our morning, lunch, and afternoon such a delight. To those who could not make it you were missed and while we tried to make up for your loss, we do poorly compared to the real thing.

Our goal is not met and we’re charging on! If you can help us let us know! (It’s a karmic win too!)

Jeff recently got me the revised Tom Rath book, Strengths Finder 2.0. Somewhere around 4 years ago I completed my first Strengths test and have since gone on to enjoy many works of optimal thinkers.

Past Strengths

Originally in 2004 I tested for the main strengths of:

* Strategic
* Restorative
* Communication
* Ideation
* Individualization

Current Strengths

Retesting in the 2008 Strengths Finder 2.0:

* Strategic
* Individualization
* Learner
* Achiever
* Futuristic

Understanding the Meanings of You

According to Rath version 2.0 includes 5,000 new combinations within the tests responses and that while some may change the likelihood is what does shift was in your top 10 all along. I also believe that we are in constant growth and as we experience new things and different ways of processing we will grow and shift these islands of meta-self around fairly regularly.

In my case I still align with my primary value of Strategic. Others are drifting place or alignment but and I can see myself within the details. Of course some will say anyone can relate to their fortune. Maybe true. Take it all as a grain of sand and build upon it what you will. I am goal oriented and having ideas of where I currently am helps me hone those further and possibly bring others to bear through natural synergies.

I recommend looking in to Strengths Finder and the Authentic Happiness questionnaires at the University of Pennsylvania. If information is vital in the world isn’t it worth your time to understand your self a bit more?

Strengths Finder 2.0 gives a real nice summation to how each strength is put in play. Here’s my primary strength, Strategic.

Strategic

By nature, you usually feel satisfied with life when your innovative thinking style is appreciated. You automatically pinpoint trends, notice problems, or identify opportunities many people overlook. Armed with this knowledge, you usually devise alternative courses of action. By evaluating the circumstances, available resources, and/or the potential consequences of each plan, you can select the best option. Because of your strengths, you periodically identify problems others fail to notice.

You might create solutions and find the right answers. Perhaps you yearn to improve certain things about yourself, other people, or situations. Maybe you are drawn to specific kinds of classes, books, or activities. Why? Maybe they promise to give you the skills or knowledge you seek. Instinctively, you feel wonderful when people value your innovative and original ideas. You are likely to help them envision what can be accomplished in the coming months, years, or decades.

Chances are good that you may pay attention to some of the things going on around you. Perhaps you listen, quiz people, read, or take notes. As you accumulate information, you might disregard what is unrelated, and pay heed to what seems important. Sometimes the more you reflect on what you know, certain problems reveal themselves, and eventually some solutions start taking shape in your mind. Then you try to select the best plan from your list of options.

Driven by your talents, you probably feel very good about yourself and life in general when you know the exact words to express an idea or a feeling. Language has fascinated you since childhood. Your ever-expanding vocabulary often earns you compliments.

Where to Go From Here

A grain of sand and a few seashells adorning the new wing of my mental sand castle. It will continue to evolve and shape, even at times may need rebuilding. This updated information provides me with some new perspectives and thoughts to digest. If you find some of your own along the way feel free to add them here so I might know you even better.

-a

When you are a child, or young adult, being locked in a dark place is probably the closet to panic you get. The overwhelming fear of the unknown, a confined space, darkness, can usually evoke a pretty good shriek from many people whereupon you are released by teasing siblings or friends from your torment.

In scuba diving many people cannot do it. Whether it’s the water, a bunch of gear on you, breathing apparatus, or something more simple many people I speak with do not have what it takes to submerge themselves.

Being a Floridian I’ve always loved the water. My mother affectionately called me part fish for my comfort and never ending joy I found in pools or the sea. I started diving in 1992 at Seacamp. While I have more skydives than water dives I have always considered diving like riding a bicycle. Once I learned it’s all fairly rote in my memory. Gear assembly and testing, signs, the only thing I have to reference is my dive tables.

Heading to Cayman this year I found myself with a sinus headcold. For the first two days on island I thought my eyes would never stop tearing due to the unwanted pressure in my head. We scrubbed a few dive days to allow this to work itself out. During which time my wife and I took to snorkeling and free diving. Free diving allowed me to test what parts of my head were clogged and not by having to equalize multiple times and varying depths.

On the third day my head felt clear with minimal if any pressure build ups. We decided to make a comfortable dive at [Eden Rock](http://www.edenrockdive.com/). Robin and I were buddies following my father and step-mother down to Devil’s Grotto (a series of little tunnels and such). Like normal I felt comfortable, breathing was zen like, everything felt good. Robin and I stayed down about 55 minutes in total.

We then went to lunch at the [Sunset House](http://www.sunsethouse.com/), calculating our surface interval we prepared for another dive. I wanted to see the Mermaid again and my new dive buddy Beth and I were going to visit the wall at about 60ft. We swam out to our marker with family, submerged, and slowly found our way to the Mermaid standing tall in waters clear to about 50-60ft. Taking pictures of my dad being a hooligan we turned and began to make our way to a sunken deployment craft.

We descended further and I began to swallow what I was thinking was salt water. I began to think there was a light leak in my mask and somehow during breathing I was inhaling water. Diversionary thoughts began to enter my head as this sensation increased over the next few minutes. My mind was starting to echo really stupid thoughts of, ‘Sure would suck to have to emergency ascend’, or ‘How do I breathe again?’. Slowly but surely my mind began to get on a tear as this fluid—drinking—sensation built. My heart began a sympathetic response and began to race.

With Beth in the lead and my father next to me I motioned that I needed to stop. I was starting to hyperventilate at about 45ft and my logical mind could not for the life of it get my emotional self under control. I knew I could breath, I knew the life line of tubes connecting me to my can of air was worthy so I sank to my knees, motioned unease and held my mask and my mouthpiece. I know stupid things happen in the moment so I just sat there with my eyes closed, letting the sine wave of panic pass through me. I motioned that my heart was racing but how it was perceived I can only guess. I was blowing so many bubbles I went from 2400psi to 1700psi in moments.

We split the group up, Beth to go with my step mother Page and I would return to shallower waters to exit with my father. We turned and parted ways. A few minutes later my heart stabilized, the fluid in my throat stopped running, and my logical self retook control of my senses. I communicated with my father and we tooled around for a few minutes more then exited for what would be a short 27m dive.

When I took my mask off I found out I had a nose bleed, my medical father thinks I had sinus rupture and I was swallowing the drainage / blood from the blow out. What an amazing and frightening experience.

When you find yourself in an alien environment, or maybe just out of your situational comfort zone, and your body begins to abreact at something it can’t internalize properly it feeds your emotional mind a lot of dark fodder. The more I try to be my rational, logical, normal self, the more tenuous the feeling of actual control is when a situation is spinning out of your control.

The best thing one can do is stop and hold on. We are a thermodynamic device so inputs will be cyclical and responsive to what is happening. If you can ride out the wave you will probably see yourself safely through to the end but going all out emotional, or reptillian mind, will only cause you harm. Can you imagine if I had bolted to the surface? I would have put myself from a bad situation to worse in heartbeats.

The next best thing you need to do is extract yourself from the situation. Once I regained some function of mind the safest thing for all of us was to abort the dive. With clear instructions and good buddies I was able to make my way back to safer waters and further regain my faculties and composure. Am I disappointed I didn’t get to see the wall this time? Sure. Am I forever happy to have my health and know I can dive another day? Undoubtedly.

The older I get the more I understand that sometimes we have very little control of ourselves. When the amplitude of panic rises you have to be ready to react in safe manners. Whether it’s deploying a canopy, diving the seas, or driving the highway, you have to be ready for any situation and be ready to try and handle it, or escape from it, like a pro.

Here’s to a safe return and a new story to tell.

-a